HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
do herpes really smell.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
