I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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