At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
