she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
