Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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