Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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