We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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