Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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