so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
This is my life. Enjoy the view
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
