it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
