Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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