I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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