So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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