; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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