All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
