I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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