just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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