HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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