It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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