I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
