Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
