in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
