Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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