dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
