I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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