very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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