I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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