Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you inspire me to be a worse person
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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