I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
