Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
