Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
