you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How drunk are you?
Completed.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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