and i looked up. we had an audience...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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