I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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