Sponge bath it is.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you will always have a special place in my vag
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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