i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
