I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think your dad took our porno
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
