The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize