We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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