i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
