It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
