You just made me feel so damn special
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I wish I only lived at night.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
