You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
