I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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