I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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