He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
