fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
