Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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