It's Friday. Sex?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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