is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
