What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
