Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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