I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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