She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
