Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
