I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
