Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
