Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
