sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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