Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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