Define "chronic" masturbator.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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