The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
