it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
