I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Need sex. Gaining weight.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
