Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
