Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
