Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize