i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
