I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
