He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
