thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
