wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My balls are so social today.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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