I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize