a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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