You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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