is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
