Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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